![]() ![]() I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. ![]() Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. ![]() Cool Girls never get angry they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. “Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. ![]()
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